Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
