I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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