Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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