You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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