I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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