he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
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His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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