super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize