a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
