i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
