it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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