I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
