An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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