Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
