does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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