Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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