we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
