Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
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She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
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I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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