Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
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I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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