HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
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