Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
This is my life. Enjoy the view
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
