**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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