I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize