who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
