Are we in a gay sports bar?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
