Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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