Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
