ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
