dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
