whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
