It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
