we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
