Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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