I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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