I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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