honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
These tits shall not be calmed
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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