it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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