So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
