I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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