Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
