I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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