Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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