I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
