My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
