okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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