do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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