I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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