no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
