his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
