i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
