Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
