peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
