I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
