fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
