MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
