who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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