If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
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he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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