Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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