There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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