SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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