The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
