I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
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I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
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Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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