I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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