Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
