he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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